First day of Nandan Nilekani in Parliament

Posted by Anantha | Posted in | Posted on Friday, July 24, 2009

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[This is one of the mail FWDs I got and felt like sharing with you all. This is a work of fiction by a creative blogger and NOT by Nandan Nilekani himself. I know this mail is going rounds these days as the genuine first person account of Mr.Nilekani, but it is not true. Just read on and appreciate the creativity of the blogger who composed this. btw, Nilekani has published his Last Post in his official blog and has mentioned that he is not supposed to comment on any Govt policies and hence ending his blog.]

The House was in pin drop silence. I was brimming with anticipation and excitement!!!! Manmohan had informed me that my introduction was one of the important points of the agenda. I hoped that I will be able to make my speech properly. After so many interviews and conferences, I was nervous today!!!! After the Speaker indicated that the proceedings of the House could begin, Manmohan formally introduced me to the entire House. He mentioned that as the head of the Unique Identification Authority of India, I was responsible to ensure that each and every Indian had a digital smart card as a proof of his existence.
Manmohan spoke about why I was selected and also some references to the various projects executed by me in Infosys were mentioned. The House listened with rapt attention. I was asked to say a few words and I did exactly the same!!! I thanked the Government of India for having given me this opportunity and I assured the House that I would strive to successfully deliver this project. The Speaker then formally inducted me into the House and before the proceedings could move any forward, there was a small commotion on the other side of the hall.
It was Minister of Textiles who had a comment to make before the next point on the agenda. He made a request that I should be attired in a more austere way instead of a flashy suit. It did not go well with the image of a minister who should live to serve the common man and should be less ostentatious in his habits. I stood up to reply. I offered my apologies to the Honourable Minister and assured that I shall be in a more acceptable dress next time. I felt that he was right. We also used to have corporate dress code in Infosys. So it's here as well!!!!
I sat down and felt somebody nudging me. I turned around and to my surprise; it was the former Indian skipper and one of my favourite batsman Mohd. Azharuddin. I remembered that he had recently won the elections. I smiled at him and mentioned to him that I used to like his game very much, shaking his hand. No Rolex, I noticed. Azhar told me that he would fix me an appointment with an Italian designer who had designed his dapper Kurta suit. An Italian designer in Milan doing Kurtas!!!!! I made a note of this and reminded myself to give this example to Friedman for his next book, The World Markets are flattened.
Since there was no doubt about the Fixational capacities of Azhar, I told him to give me the details and I would consider. The proceedings of the House went on with numerous bills being debated and passed as I sat as a passive audience waiting for my projects turn to come up. After the lunch break, it was the moment for me!!!!

MY PROJECTS FIRST REVIEW CAME UP FOR PRESENTATION.

I was at sea. My laptop did not have any reserve power. I went to Manmohan and apprised him of the situation. I was sweating. He calmly replied that this would not be a cause of concern. I was flummoxed!!!! The Speaker asked me to explain to the House on what were my plans for the Unique Identity Project. I replied that I have a plan prepared for 30-60-90-120 days milestones and I have presentation to make for which I need a power socket, a projector and a screen. I had no idea what was going to happen after this.
The next couple of minutes were a complete jolt for me. I was completely in a tizzy. Let me just summarize what happened. A Joint Cabinet Secretary Committee was set up to judge the feasibility of my request. The Under Secretaries for the Ministries of Power, IT and Broadcasting will prepare a Viability Report after scrutinizing National Security threats to my request. This was because the power socket comes under Power, laptop comes under IT and projector comes under Broadcasting. I have also been told to reconsider my timelines of 30-60-90 days and start thinking in terms of years. Probably, they are right. I did not have the foresight in this matter.
The summary of the issue is that I need to come up with a more inclusive, democratic, comprehensive long term plan for this project to be executed over the next five years. I have also been given a presentation slot 3 months from now (by which the issues related to the power cord etc will also be resolved). I am filled with mixed reactions. I was planning for a quick resolution; the management wants a strategic solution. I come out of the House and text Murthy.
"You wont believe it but these guys work just like us. I am on a NATIONAL BENCH for the next three months!!!!!!!!"

15 kisses that changed the history of world Tennis

Posted by Anantha | Posted in , , | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009

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Pic courtesy: Go Roger!
Check here for Federer career statistics

Some straight questions

Posted by Anantha | Posted in | Posted on Saturday, July 04, 2009

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Caution: Explicit use of language when and where it is required

You could call it just a juxtaposition of some of my genuine questions, some info to pass on and few of my opinions; that's what is my say about gay rights, about recent decision of Delhi HC on 377, about the altered sexual orientation of nearly 20 million people in India. As I am not able to take a firm stand on this topic with my current knowledge on this subject, I could sound idiosyncratic in few places, but can’t help it! Being a heterosexual I could also be biased about this topic!!

  • First of all, is homosexuality and bisexuality normal..?
I know normalcy is subjective. So heterosexuals not supporting this could call it not normal, LGBTs (Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Trans genders) and liberal supporters could call it normal. So that was a really vague question...

Science:
  • Biologists have proved that homosexuality is observed in many of the animals like antelopes, boars, bulls, chimpanzees, cows, ducks, cats, dogs, fruit flies, geese, gorillas, gulls, horses.. etc Is human being just an addition to this?Is sexual orientation of a person decided at the time oh his/her birth? Or is it a trait picked up by some hormonal changes during puberty? Or is it an influence of surroundings or is it a mix of all these or any of these? This research says, though there is a region identified in X chromosome, if it is present in heterosexual females, it gets passed on to their male children. This could make that child a homo. Again such a gene was not found in female homosexuals. This research also says that just a region in X chromosome is identified but not the exact gene. Also there is no measure of how much this gene could influence a male child to be born as homosexual.

This study says, it is largely shaped by genetics and by few random environment factors.

  • What about bisexuals?
I read some where that these are the people who are still exploring their sexual orientation. Some might remain exploring; some might be bisexuals with a liking for one gender over the other.
  • Don’t bisexuals increase the risk of spreading HIV and other STDs?
  • Isn't homosexuality a dead-end of evolution?
Isn’t homosexuality being considered as dead-end of human evolution? Read this and this. Though these articles do not give a clear cut answer, they throw light upon lot of aspects.

Indian Mythology:
  • Khajuraho sculptors and Kamasutra have mention of homosexuality. But does that mean it was prevalent in India from a long time? Was it considered 'abnormal' even then? Any mention in old scriptures about this?
I know Amba reincarnating as ShikhanDi in Mahabharatha, Lord Vishnu taking the avatar of Mohini to kill Bhasmasura, Arjuna assuming a transgender named Brihannala during the period of Pandava’s disguise, but these are anecdotes from our mythology about male transforming into female and vice versa. But Is there any reference to homosexuality anywhere?

Indian Penal Code:
IPC 377 states, “Whoever voluntarily has carnal intercourse against the order of nature with any man, woman or animal, shall be punished with [imprisonment for life], or with imprisonment of either description for term which may extend to ten years, and shall also be liable to fine.”

Delhi HC has decriminalized IPC 377, and the section still exists. Meaning, a non-consensual sex against the order of nature with man, woman or animal is still a punishable offense.
Dat also means homosexuality is still not legal in India.

  • When IPC 376 states a rapist gets an imprisonment of 7-10 years, was’t the pre-existing 377 (before decriminalization) little unfair? Because a consensual sex with a partner of same gender would put a homosexual behind the bars for years equal to that for a rapist?
  • Does IPC 377 (before decriminalization) imply a consensual anal sex by a man with his own wife considered as domestic rape?
Uncategorized category:
  • Do people become gays/lesbos by choice..? Is it more to do with their life style..?
Conservatives might call it lifestyle chosen; liberals might call it an orientation by birth.
  • What about some young people who indulge in homosexuality for fun, in the name of adventure, in the name of exploration, or just for gimmick? Are they formally considered gays/lesbians?
  • Why do eunuchs act so horny? Any research on desire to indulge in sex is more/less in people with altered sexual orientation?
  • Why do most of the fashion photographers and designers "act" so feminine?
  • What about those porn actresses, who say they love girls and also love to suck co**? Is it their profession pushing them to the edge? or is it that many of the porno actresses are bisexuals?
  • In a threesome or group sex, if a person is *helping* the other same gendered person, is s/he called a lesbo/gay?
  • What if a set of people in future dare to reveal their sexual orientation towards animals like dogs/horses/goats or minor children, would Indian Judiciary reconsider the existing laws then also?
  • Most of all in future, if your daughter comes home with a daughter-in-law or son with son-in-law one day, would you welcome them?????

90% of eveything is.....

Posted by Anantha | Posted in , , | Posted on Monday, June 15, 2009

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Happened to read this quote by this wise man named Theodore Sturgeon, a science fiction writer.
"Ninety percent of everything is crap"
That's stunningly true isn't it...?
Doing a bit of Googling, found out some interesting facts about this so called Sturgeon's law. Though he quoted this aiming at the Science fiction published all over the world, but later argues that 90% of film, literature, consumer goods, etc. are crap. 
PS: Though, I personally feel ninety percent is an exaggeration, or may be the things I consider which are not crap now might actually turn out to be crap at later point of time. So there are chances that I might totally agree to this quote some time in future..

To Federer, with love

Posted by Anantha | Posted in , , | Posted on Monday, June 08, 2009

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Dear Roger,
First of all congratulations on achieving the feat of winning 14 grand slams and sharing the page of History books with Sampras for the moment. Most of all, congrats again for breaking the jinx of Roland Garros.
I have been following your game since the day you lifted your first grand slam. Since then I have been loving your game, not because you kept lifting grand slams one after the other, not because the tennis experts speculated that you would be the greatest  ever tennis player one day, but just for making the game look so beautiful and stylish! 
I still remember when Leyton Hewitt [I think] said, "It is unfortunate that we are playing in Federer's era". I enjoyed the way you dominated in all the tournaments, no matter who the opponent is. That is when the grey-heads of Tennis stirred up a debate, whether you could be called the greatest ever Tennis player, they compared you with Rod Lever to McEnroe to Bjorn Borg. I never bother about these kinda arguments, because firstly I feel it is unfair to compare two players of two different eras, secondly I have not seen them playing! No matter what people opine, for me you are the God of tennis. In future when a new champion emerges (who would certainly have to bear the comparisons with you) and my kids watch him play, I would love to tell them how better were you!

Then Rafa emerged as the 'next big thing' of Tennis court and started showing the world that you are not unbeatable, that even you have a vulnerable side. With an amazing combination of controlled aggression and precision, Rafa surely is a toughest contender for you. Every time you played against Rafa in a big match, whether on clay or grass, I have prayed to God as if I was waiting for the results of my final exams. When Rafa firmly denied you a French open in all the 3 finals from 2006-2008, I had feared that you might also end up like Sampras, without a French open. Every time you lost to Nadal, a very basic question that does not only pertain to Tennis but life as well used to rise in my mind - In the war between aggression and grace, why does aggression turn out to be victorious most of the times? 
I was less disappointed when you lost to Rafa in straight sets (1-6, 3-6, 0-6) in French Open 2008 finals than when you broke into tears after losing to him in this year's Australian Open. I could not believe it. I mean I did not like it! What was that indicating, a man who hardly used to show his emotion on field once, has given up? Did you accept Nadal as your jinx not only on clay but also on other surfaces? I am sorry to say, I had not expected that from you.
Though this victory in French Open would add to the tally of career grand slams, I would say, you won it easily this time. Your nemesis was defeated by Soderling quite early in the tournament. The other threats, Djokovic and Murray also not making it to the final 4. Though Tommy Haas and Del Potro made you sweat, I think this was relatively  an easy grand slam for you! Hope it gives you the confidence of clearing the mental block of Roland Garros and a sigh of relief. 
Agree you have won it, but I want you to EARN it beating Rafa in French Open finals some day.... I know that victory would be more satisfying for you than the current one. 
Your greatest fan... 

IPL10 - A futuristic look at IPL

Posted by Anantha | Posted in , , , , | Posted on Monday, April 27, 2009

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Disclaimer: This is a hypothetical and futuristic take on IPL

This is the year 2017. 10th season of IPL is about to kick off in few days in Las Vegas. Here is an account of IPL, the way it has grown and changed in the last 10 years since it started in 2008.

  • The IPL which started as a league of 20-20 game back in 2008 is now reduced to 10-10 overs, making it the shortest form of Cricket. The reason being cricket enthusiasts started to lose interest in 20-20 after few years of IPL. People demanded more excitement as they considered 20-20 was pretty slow game (!)
  • There are 15 teams now participating in this IPL-10. Shimla Apples is the newest team playing its first IPL. Preity Zinta who was once a co-owner of Punjab Kings XI, is the sole owner of this team. She ventured into owning a team of her own after an alleged spilt-up with her long time beau Ness Wadia. The pair has finally split after multiple reconciliation efforts by their family and friends. She says now she will be able to concentrate fully on IPL as she has taken a sabbatical from her acting career. Well, we all know that she hardly had any roles in her kitty, since the first season of IPL ;) Yadavs of Patna is another relatively new team with Lalu Yadav's son Tejaswi Prasad Yadav captaining the side. The team is owned by none other than Rabri Devi. This team is a good contender for the IPL trophy this time.
  • This season of IPL has most number of baseball players (on an average, every team has 2) than any other IPL seasons in the past. Most of the team owners and coaches felt it was a strategic necessity to buy baseball players for the team as there are records that 220 (in 10 overs) is also not a safe total to defend these days. For this reason, team went on a buying spree across the world. Most baseball players were bought from teams in US. This is when BCCI showed interest in conducting IPL-10 in Las Vegas. BCCI says it is also an effort to popularize cricket in US. The newly set up Cricket Board of USA has managed to set up a new plush indoor stadium for IPL-10.
  • The cricket pitch is prepared of synthetic material unlike the hard soil pitches of the outdoor stadiums. This kind of pitch is supposed to bring ball straight on to the bat without any scope for spin, swing, and enabling batsmen to just cudgel the ball. The ball is also a made with a mix of leather and special rubber, making it much lighter and is supposed to cover long distances when hit by batsmen.
  • Ever since IPL-7, ICC has permitted the use of double sided bats made of special fiber instead of wooden bats used in other conventional formats of the game. These double sided bats help the batsmen to hit the ball farther without much effort. These bats look very much similar to baseball bats, which also helps the baseball players in the team. The word club is being used synonymous to bats these days.
  • New set of rules say every team could only play 4 Indian players and the rest have to be foreign players. This is an encouraging move as it gives the team the best of talents across the globe.
  • This is the 3rd successful year of the new chairman Another Bindralmiashah, after there were allegations on Lalit Modi of dwindling the money of BCCI during his long tenure as IPL chairman.
  • 18 year old Arjun Sachin Tendulkar is the new sensation of IPL-10. There were rumors that his father, legendary Sachin Tendulkar did not want his son to start his career with T10, instead he wanted his son to start with the traditional format like ODIs. Arjun Sachin Tendulkar is the costliest buy out by any team in the history of IPL. Rumour mills say Mumbai team quoted him close to 500 million USD for a contract of 3 years.
  • IPL-10 is also going to be the last IPL of arguably the God of IPL, Yusuf Pathan. He has decided to retire from cricket after this season. When asked about his next plans, he says he is already in talks with few of the team owners to join them as batting coach. Yusuf is the only batsman in the history of IPL to have an overall strike rate of over 250!!
  • There is also a new variable being added to the statistics of batsmen. Along with number of matches played, run aggregated and strike rate etc, this new variable is gonna be number of sixes hit by the batsman. A similar element will be included for bowlers, for the number of sixes conceded.
  • Cutting edge technology always has been part of cricket.
  1. The new technology enables to sniff and tap the thoughts of the brains of bowlers, batsman and fielders which is available for the analysis when the match is in progress. But grey heads have revolted against adapting this technology as this information could be used by the opponent coaches to guide their players on field.. But there is also an argument that it is fair as the info is open for all to use and make plans and counter plans.
  2. Umpires no longer stand in the field. In an effort to nullify human errors, all the umpiring decisions are taken by the third (but the only!) umpire.
  • There are also rumors that there are gonna be no bowlers in any team from next IPL. Due to this bowlers' future is in doldrums. Instead of bowlers, there are gonna be bowling machines used. Automotive giants of Japan and S Korea seem to have prepared the prototypes of bowling machines which can generate a maximum speed of 200 mph. Whether there has to be a regulation on this speed of bowling as it requires super human batsmen to judge the balls thrown at these extreme speeds is yet to be decided by ICC. The legends of the game like Sunila Gavaskar, Steve Waugh and likes who have always expressed their dismay against commercialization of cricket now have openly lashed out at robotizing cricket also.
  • Bryan McFixer is returning to T10 format after clearing the charges of match fixing in IPL season 9. He had played four continuous dot balls in the semi finals of IPL-9.
  • Television broadcast rights have been bought by Zoom channel this year in India.
  • There are close to 250 official commercial sponsors overall for this year’s IPL.
  • The popularity of T10 has affected the snail paced ODIs let alone Tests. There are only 5 test playing nations remaining now. Kenya being the last and latest team to get the nod from ICC as test playing nation. Rest of the teams are England, Australia, West Indies and Sri Lanka. India stopped playing tests 3 years back, as BCCI decided it was not a lucrative business.
  • According to the latest rule, if a batsman fails to score in the required run rate, he could be called off by the batting side captain. A batsman of choice (any player from the squad who has not played yet in that innings) could replace him. Mostly like a substitute in a football match.
  • At last how on earth can there not be anything special about cheerleaders when IPL is being held in LV? This time many of the teams have hired strippers from various Clip joints of LV. Various Women's rights activists in India and as well as in US have protested this nanga naach in the name of Cricketainment. But chairman of IPL, has announced a part of the profit of IPL is gonna be donated for the welfare of Commercial sex workers in India. This has pacified many of the activists in India.
  • BCCI is also thinking of introducing 5-5 overs match before cricket enthusiasts turn their faces away from T10. Would they name it F5? And will it remain a mass hysteria like F1 for decades? Only time has the answers in its belly...

Husbands and Wives play Dil Kabaddi

Posted by Anantha | Posted in , , , , , , , | Posted on Thursday, April 23, 2009

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Saw Dil KabaDDi few days back; thoroughly enjoyed it. I thought it was the best 'Romantic Adult Comedy' I have seen in Hindi. I found the screenplay fresh, neat narration, excellent pool of talented actors and hilarious dialogues, only to realize later when Saravanan pointed out that Dil KabaDDi is blatantly ripped off from Woody Allen’s Husbands and Wives. I watched Husbands and Wives the very next day. I was shocked. Dil KabaDDi is almost a Hindi translation of HAW. Dialogue writer of DK has shown his credibility in English to Hindi translation. Or did he just get the Hindi subtitles of HAW and provided a printout of the same to the actors while acting/rehearsing? One could notice the finger count of differences between the two movies.

Having said that I would also like to say it is a very rare thing to happen for a ripped-off movie to come out more enjoyable than the original! DK is one such movie!!

Husbands and Wives
Dir: Woody Allen
Cast: Woody Allen, Mia Farrow, Sydney Pollack and Judy Davis

This is the first Woody Allen movie I have seen. After reading/hearing a lot about him, I witnessed his style of film making in HAW. In the beginning of the movie, many of the scenes are long shots, actors speaking to each other for long without breaking, cinematographer moving along with the characters; My eyes usually take time to get adjusted to the camera, when it is moving between the characters, dodging the shoulders and heads of actors (if they are also moving along the camera), maneuvering not to hit the static objects in the scene. But at the same time it gives an impression to the audience as if they are dropped right in between the characters, which is very nice.

It revolves around 2 couples, Gabe, Judie and Jack, Sally. The story revolves around infidelity, adultery and about their unsure decisions they take in life, letting them split, re-unite, live apart, find another companion etc. Though it is being categorized as a comedy movie, I hardly smiled at any of the (if any) jokes in the movie. May be I am not of the types who laughs for Woody Allen type of jokes.

I also felt, all the lead actors were too old to deal with these marital problems; well that’s purely my personal opinion.


Dil Kabaddi
Dir: Anil Senior
Cast: Irrfan Khan, Soha Ali Khan, Konkona Sen Sharma and Rahul Bose

Dil Kabaddi opens with one of my favorite scenes in the movie. Irrfan starts with a monologue on love. Speaking about to what extent people go crazy for love, he continues, "boss, bees saal tak ek hi building ko banwaana koi mazaak kaam nahin hain, woh bhi ek hi color main.. banaane ke liye patience chaahiye. Shah Jahan bawra nahin ho gaya tha buddy.. marble pe marble kharch kar daala, kaay ke liye..? true love, sachcha pyaar.. ruh se ruh ka milan... wahh.. but then... times changed... ". Irrfan’s voice gets sidelined in the noise of ringing phones.. sound of horn, vehicular movement, traffic chaos.

Samit played by Irrfan is an on-the-edge-eccentric kind of guy, who thinks it is style to wear sun glasses while driving the car in the night. Who wears silver grayish tie for a bright pink+blue striped formal shirts, has a penchant for kinky sex, also thinks his body-brain balance is screwed up because he is sex starved. Check out another gem of a dialogue by Samit, "bed room ke under kya hota hain usse romance ka kya lena dena... woh bhi husband and wife ke beech main….. husbands and wives are beyond romance”. Well, that's Samit for you :) Add to this, the unique dialogue delivery style, his mumbles, deliberate repetition of words, that makes Irrfan Khan THE BEST guy to play the role of Samit.

Soha Ali Khan is surprisingly refreshing in the role of Mita (Irrfan’s wife). Though Irrfan and Soha look very odd as a pair, but that is the exact requirement of the script to have a couple who are not so alike, who make an odd pair. The other couple, played by Konkona and Rahul Bose suit the role of Rishi and Simi at their best. Payal Rohatgi has overplayed the role as a dumb bimbette. Though Rahul Khanna has nothing much to do, has done justice to the role.

Even after copying scene to scene from HAW, the director of DK, Anil Senior deserves a mention for the portrayal of subtle man-woman relationships (in the very few original scenes of the movie). In both the movies, a narrator guy keeps questioning / prodding the characters to speak out to the camera. No better way to spill out the insecurities, idiosyncrasies and confusions about the relationships of the characters than this. I enjoyed it.

Though portraying all the men as creatures who think between their legs is questionable, I would recommend this movie to all the people who love laughing on this vice of men.

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