Posted by
Anantha
| Posted in
Real Story
| Posted on
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
It was almost eight years since Clive had been suffering from acute amnesia. It was a journey of 8 traumatic years for him. Every morning he would wake up repeating the same words: “I haven’t heard anything, seen anything, touched anything, and smelled anything. It’s like being dead. How long have been ill?” Then I would try to answer his question and the conversation would repeat itself endlessly. There have been thoughts of committing suicide in my mind several times. Its not that I wanted to die… Its just that I did not know how to live without Clive.
Years passed by.. I could see no improvements in Clive’s condition. One fine day of 1993… is it right to call it a fine day?…I am not sure; I decided to move. I decided to relocate to some distant land leaving all the painful memories behind in England. Yes it indeed was a harsh decision to make because I was about to leave Clive back in England. It was an attempt to start a new life in United States. I did a bit of poetry, a bit of part time work and could manage in US with my earlier savings. Back in England, Clive was moved to a specially created brain trauma unit. He was no longer having violent episodes. The staff of the hospital told me that Clive was not aware that I had gone away. I used to call Clive up few times in a week. He used to recognize my voice. The only phrase he would endlessly repeat during these telephone calls was, “I love you very much… I love you very much…Did u come to visit me this morning…?! I do not remember..” I would feel guilt every time I hear this from Clive on phone. I would end up crying all through the nights.
In the mean time in US some inexplicable situations made me to file a divorce against Clive! Legally it was a smooth procedure. As I got it under the empathy of the law considering the health condition of Clive. But the issue was not this; it made me feel that I was betraying Clive. Still I proceeded to go with it with a heavy heart. If I think about it now, I feel I was crueler on Clive than the fate on him.
I must confess that I made few attempts to build relationship with 1 or 2 men there in US. But it was very foolish to try that, knowing that I would not be able to love any man more than Clive. Clive was still ruling my heart. Then I understood the void in my life without Clive. I was certainly missing the ‘Cliveness’ of Clive. All that I could feel during my stay in US was that Clive still loved me though he could not even remember a single person on earth.
Then a fine day I packed my bag from US and headed back to London. Rushed to the brain trauma unit of the hospital where Clive was still lying on the bed with the same petrified expressions on his face. His eyes lighted up seeing me. He said “did u come this morning to see me… I don’t remember… I love you… I love you…” I wept as if I was apologetic to him for my foolish attempts to live separate in US. I asked him “can we renew our marriage vows this Saturday?” Clive was trying hard to ask me some thing…
We renewed our marriage vows in the church. I managed to get a house nearby to the brain trauma unit. Few weeks later I brought Clive home. Now I enjoy Clive's endless conversational loops everyday. He makes more mistakes while playing piano now. But who cares! when he enjoys playing it and I feel every musical note he plays is superior to Beethoven's!
Source:
Forget me not (August 2006) RD-India
The man who keeps falling in love with his wife
Transcript: In loving memory
The Death of Yesterday
Then a fine day I packed my bag from US and headed back to 
