First day of Nandan Nilekani in Parliament

Posted by Anantha | Posted in | Posted on Friday, July 24, 2009

[This is one of the mail FWDs I got and felt like sharing with you all. This is a work of fiction by a creative blogger and NOT by Nandan Nilekani himself. I know this mail is going rounds these days as the genuine first person account of Mr.Nilekani, but it is not true. Just read on and appreciate the creativity of the blogger who composed this. btw, Nilekani has published his Last Post in his official blog and has mentioned that he is not supposed to comment on any Govt policies and hence ending his blog.]

The House was in pin drop silence. I was brimming with anticipation and excitement!!!! Manmohan had informed me that my introduction was one of the important points of the agenda. I hoped that I will be able to make my speech properly. After so many interviews and conferences, I was nervous today!!!! After the Speaker indicated that the proceedings of the House could begin, Manmohan formally introduced me to the entire House. He mentioned that as the head of the Unique Identification Authority of India, I was responsible to ensure that each and every Indian had a digital smart card as a proof of his existence.
Manmohan spoke about why I was selected and also some references to the various projects executed by me in Infosys were mentioned. The House listened with rapt attention. I was asked to say a few words and I did exactly the same!!! I thanked the Government of India for having given me this opportunity and I assured the House that I would strive to successfully deliver this project. The Speaker then formally inducted me into the House and before the proceedings could move any forward, there was a small commotion on the other side of the hall.
It was Minister of Textiles who had a comment to make before the next point on the agenda. He made a request that I should be attired in a more austere way instead of a flashy suit. It did not go well with the image of a minister who should live to serve the common man and should be less ostentatious in his habits. I stood up to reply. I offered my apologies to the Honourable Minister and assured that I shall be in a more acceptable dress next time. I felt that he was right. We also used to have corporate dress code in Infosys. So it's here as well!!!!
I sat down and felt somebody nudging me. I turned around and to my surprise; it was the former Indian skipper and one of my favourite batsman Mohd. Azharuddin. I remembered that he had recently won the elections. I smiled at him and mentioned to him that I used to like his game very much, shaking his hand. No Rolex, I noticed. Azhar told me that he would fix me an appointment with an Italian designer who had designed his dapper Kurta suit. An Italian designer in Milan doing Kurtas!!!!! I made a note of this and reminded myself to give this example to Friedman for his next book, The World Markets are flattened.
Since there was no doubt about the Fixational capacities of Azhar, I told him to give me the details and I would consider. The proceedings of the House went on with numerous bills being debated and passed as I sat as a passive audience waiting for my projects turn to come up. After the lunch break, it was the moment for me!!!!


I was at sea. My laptop did not have any reserve power. I went to Manmohan and apprised him of the situation. I was sweating. He calmly replied that this would not be a cause of concern. I was flummoxed!!!! The Speaker asked me to explain to the House on what were my plans for the Unique Identity Project. I replied that I have a plan prepared for 30-60-90-120 days milestones and I have presentation to make for which I need a power socket, a projector and a screen. I had no idea what was going to happen after this.
The next couple of minutes were a complete jolt for me. I was completely in a tizzy. Let me just summarize what happened. A Joint Cabinet Secretary Committee was set up to judge the feasibility of my request. The Under Secretaries for the Ministries of Power, IT and Broadcasting will prepare a Viability Report after scrutinizing National Security threats to my request. This was because the power socket comes under Power, laptop comes under IT and projector comes under Broadcasting. I have also been told to reconsider my timelines of 30-60-90 days and start thinking in terms of years. Probably, they are right. I did not have the foresight in this matter.
The summary of the issue is that I need to come up with a more inclusive, democratic, comprehensive long term plan for this project to be executed over the next five years. I have also been given a presentation slot 3 months from now (by which the issues related to the power cord etc will also be resolved). I am filled with mixed reactions. I was planning for a quick resolution; the management wants a strategic solution. I come out of the House and text Murthy.
"You wont believe it but these guys work just like us. I am on a NATIONAL BENCH for the next three months!!!!!!!!"

Comments (4)

Hi .... This was written by me... check out

thanks for maintaining that you received this via a forward....



I appreciate your take on this whole subject, but please mention in bold letters that it is your fictitious take on the subject and NOT Nandan who has written this.. I would appreciate that more.

Im editing my post by mentioning the same...


I had no idea that my small writeup would take such humungous proportions. I have been writing such articles on most public events over the last couple of years and I have been mailing them to a select set of known addresses. This time, this writeup went out of my reach and people started forwarding this as Mr. Nilekani's official blog. If you go through my blogsite, you will see many such similar articles, hence I did not deem it fit to put a disclaimer. Apologies if this has hurt your sentiments!!! Nammawaru inta walle kelasa maadokke horatiddare, the last thing would be to seriously mock any such good task. This has been written only in jest.


Ok.. I trust that it slipped out of your hand this time..

I too have great respect for Mr Nilekeni and I had expected that he would certainly have this kind of experiences in Parliament. If people thought that it is really written by Nilekani, then it's a true credit for your writeup.. great imagination dude.. :)

Let's wish him all the success in his newly donned role..

Post a Comment