We are not here to make friends ?!?

Posted by Anantha | Posted in , | Posted on Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Was roaming in Koramangala with my B.E. pals on SUN evening. After munching the junk here n there we were about to leave.. When we were walking towards the place where we had parked our bikes, there appeared two familiar faces... heyyy! thats Mohit and Jagadish [Me, Mohit and Jagadish had joined Mphasis 2 yrs back along with few more guys]. It was a long-time-no-c-mulaaquaat. Exchanged few words about work n life and dispersed.

The same night, so many thoughts ruled my mind while I was sprawling on bed. Thoughts flashed back to November 2004. We were 11 elated bunch of freshers who had joined Mphasis. Me, Jagadish, Mohit, Ram, Smruthi, Sneh, Arthi, Fatima, Jason, Manu, Shobha, Rashmi and Kusuma. All were excited holding the offer letter of our first job in our hands. Then began corporate training for months. We were all just out of college getting accustomed to the corporate mould.. were hanging out together.. few outings in the weekends..movies n theatres...celebrating each others' b-days with cakes and gifts...

By the time the training got over, we had become good friends! Then
on a fine day, We were all scattered into different projects [though in the same office premises]. Still our bonding continued.. calling up each other for snacks and lunch breaks. It continued for few months.. Then later, few became busy with their project deadlines and schedules and were not regularly appearing in our gang. I too started missing the gang for lunch and other breaks. Then it started getting difficult to gather in weekends also. If one had to go out with his/her friends, some one else had to come to office on weekends to meet the deadlines. So its just that we had prioritized our other schedules and had relegated our petty gatherings... None to blame.. I too had skipped many...

After few months, some of us were moved to different projects.. this time it was not in the same office premises.. I had to move to a different office in Bannerghatta Rd.. while the rest continued in Global village. Months passed by.. mail transactions reduced.. phone calls reduced... By the time we had settled down, we had completed one year in Mphasis.

We all got yearly appraisals.... some of us sulked, some of us jumped in joy... some of us got onsite opportunities... some of us fumed with the J factor! Sneh left the company and flew to Aussie land for higher studies. We all started becoming busy in our own worlds. If not so, at least we pretended to be busy.. I felt the bloody ego had crept in some how!!

I dont know what went wrong.. everything was nice and perfect once. Now it all seems to be a dream. Now it has become Mission Impossible to gather even 5 of us for a dinner or a movie. We have no one to blame but ourselves. Some of us do not have the courtesy to call back even after seeing 2-3 missed calls in their cell phones... I too have done that few times to few guys!!.. damn... it was so rude to do that...

Everything has changed with time.. Can colleagues be friends..? Then I get a voice resonating in my mind 'We aren't here to make friends...' But is that true?

Today here in the current work place I see Tony, Indrajith,Vijay, Anobika, Sindhu et al [freshers in our project] in the cafeteria laughing for each others' jokes.. sitting around the table for
lunch... I sigh and say long live friendship... I wish it was me, Mohit, Smruthi, Ram, Jagadish... around the table for lunch...

Here is a chunk of a poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,
Only a signal shown and a distant voice in the darkness:

So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another,
Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence."

Comments (11)

Hi Madhav,
When i read this, I'm getting a feeling that it's written by me! I feel the 'I' referred to in the post is me, and those friends' names are something like S, A, H, S, J...etc!!
Its just the same experience with me and now the same feelings... Or may be its the same with most of the IT guys who've completed 2 yrs here...... Missing all those good times and those good friends......

ur very right, any IT guy of 2+ yrs exp would feel the same...

I confess!
there is another disheartening change I have noticed about myself. It has made me think twice b4 I befriend a colleague!! I just think b4 smiling at him/her... 'is this relationship really going to last!!'

Hi Madhav,

Sakkat aag bardidiya..maga..

I think in this corporate world this has happened to everyone...
Good one Madhav....


hi Ananth,

Am visiting ur blog after a long time!!...this article of urs reminded me of my ELT( Entry level trainees as called in cognizant) days...hmm..Getting Nostalgic...Even my situation is no different than yours and even I feel you can never make true friends in your work place.


Deva , dont take it so seriously. To begin with, none of us were/are so good friends at all. :) Just think over it. Whatever has happened with us has to happen with every other person at some point of time. What we need to realise is heartbreaks, loss of a loved one, failure in a hard worked project, loss of a best friend, change in our work space, loneliness etc are all indications of us growing up. When we refuse to accept 'change' in our life is when the trouble seeps in. We have to gather ourself ,learn to take care of ourselves and move ahead..
...antha nan friend nange helidda :)
our lives are like pages out of shakesphere's book. We need to turn each page and complete the story! :)

And,..i was/am not so excited holding my offer letter as you have mentioned..you are misquoting me.. I can sue you for that :) hahaha :)

"...To begin with, none of us were/are so good friends at all....".. Hmm may be I agree wid u. Was it the same set of emotions that we underwent created a delusion called 'friendship' amongst us...?

hahahaha i dont know yaar :)
take it easy :) ;)

As per krishna in gita saar, the whole world is a delusion.. hahaha :) we are here on his bidding. he decides who befriends whom who cheats whom and what he gets..everything is delusion my boy ..hahahaha :)

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