cafe masala

Posted by Anantha | Posted in , | Posted on Sunday, August 17, 2008

Hemanth was wriggling his bike past the other vehicles in the traffic. I was the pillion. My phone rang. That was the 3rd time Sri was calling me in last 20 minutes. She asked me, “Where are u guys?” This time she was angry. I chose an appropriate lie from the template I usually carry, “We are in the Brigade road signal”. We were actually some where near Rajbhavan. “K.. come soon..”, she cut the phone. We reached Brigade Rd signal five minutes later. While waiting for the traffic signal to turn green, a chick in frilled white skirt crossed the road in front of our bike. I told Hemanth, “I wish it was windy today” and grinned. Understanding the gross intention behind my dialogue Hemanth laughed. I imagined a ‘Marilyn Monroe act’ by that chick in the middle of the road. I bet Hemanth was also thinking about the same. We guys know how kameena our brain is. But I get angry when any female comments, “you guy are mean”. The word mean makes me angry, I prefer kameene :) If you gals have just coined the word ‘kaMEANe’, No I hate that word too. The signal turned green and our bike cleared the last hurdle to reach our destination, Eva Mall.

We reached Eva Mall. I got down from the bike. Hemanth told me to face the music first and drove to basement to park the bike. My phone rang for the 4th time. “this is too much…”, this time it was Rakhi speaking. Before I could reply, I saw Rakhi and Sri waiting near the entrance of the Mall. I said, “we have reached, I can see u gals..”. I could listen Rakhi saying, “at last.. they have come” to Sri before I cut the phone. I strode towards them. Both of their faces were angry red. I think this angry red shade is inimitable by any artificial coloring agents. The shade can be seen only on the cheeks and the nose tip of the females whom you have made to wait for an hour for the dinner. I greeted them and blamed on the traffic for reaching late. Though every one curses Bangalore traffic, but it surely has rescued all the late comers/goers like us. Seeing an Archie’s gift wrap in my hand Sri’s angry red face shed its inimitable shade and returned to the usual fairness. The very sight of her BDay gift had pacified her. It was for Sri’s BDay treat we four had gathered for. Café Masala in Eva Mall was her own choice; we guys had no problems with any hotel in Bangalore as far as we are getting a free meal. Hemanth appeared making ‘we are really really really sorry’ face. Sri patted hard on his back in acknowledgment. Rakhi said “you guys are so late I think the reserved table would have been given away to others by this time”. This time I genuinely felt sorry for the girls for the effort they have put in to come early and book a table.

Sri was enquiring the receptionist for the booked table. A suit clad guy escorted us to the table reserved for us. It was a table for four. Sri and Rakhi sat next to each other, leaving Hemanth and me no option to choose but to sit next to each other. The very next moment I felt the place was just nice for both of us guys, as we got to face the people in that room, where Rakhi and Sri were facing the boring wall hanging behind me. My eyes took no time scanning all the beautiful females in that room and shortlisted few of them for the further scrutiny.

As decided before only, we chose to go with buffet for dinner. My eyes were planted on a female on the diagonally opposite table. That was a gang of 6 adults and 2 kids. The female I was looking at must be wife of one of the three morons there. I believe any guy however intelligent looking he is, who accompanies a beautiful female becomes a moron for the other men in that premise. This could be called as one of the postulates in the huge book called Letch Sutra which I am penning. Hemanth and I are no survivors of this rule, as we became 2 morons with 2 nice looking females for other men in that hotel.

Ok.. the starters started descending on our table. We were waiting for it with our sleeves folded. Hemanth felt it wudnt be too nice to make Sri wait for her BDay gift till the end of the dinner. He handed over the gift to Sri. Sri said thanks to both of us with a 10 inch wide Julia Roberts smile. I told her to unwrap it and see the gift. As if she cared to wait for my consent, she had already started unwrapping the gift. Most of the females I know unwrap the gift similar way, they do it with so much of care not hurting even a single piece of cellophane used to wrap it. Unlike we boys who love tearing any paper given to us. The gift was a soft toy, a puppy peeping out of its dog house. The roof of the house was pink in color and Sri lovvved it. She re-iterated, “Thank you so much guys”, with a 10 and a half inch Julia Roberts smile this time. We started belting the buffet.

Hemanth was teasing Sri for her weight issues, Sri in return was pulling Hemanth’s leg for his lazy looks. Rakhi was laughing for and against the three of us. Sri was also giving a fair share to my canine teeth and receding hair line. Though my canine teeth are not the things I am very proud of but my receding hairline has never been a concern for me. My mother and my sis worry about it a lot. Chhmnn.. I forgot to update you on the beautiful female in the next table. How rightly some one has quoted, ‘all the desirable things on earth are either illegal, banned, expensive or married to someone else’. In between our conversations I made it a point to check her out. Every time our eyes met, My heart got a mild electric shock. She looked the most beautiful when she was sipping the soup from the edge of the spoon. The strands of her hair slid down to taste the soup in her spoon. She displayed the slightest discomfort and quickly grabbed and restricted them behind the lobes of her left ear. I felt she flaunted her left cheek to me. This time my heart failed almost. Aloo tikki in my plate appeared like pacemakers to me for a moment.

main course
We were done with the starters that were served to the table. That means we had to walk to the place where food was kept for buffet. That also means, that opens the door of opportunity for Hemanth and me to check out some more females on our way to the food and back to our table. We did it no different. I got to see the face behind that English music that was being played all this time. It was actually a talented singer, who was singing all this time, which I actually had thought was a tape that was being played. All I could say about his singing was it was melodious but I did not understand it. I cant distinguish the genres Jazz, Blue, Reggae.. et al. According to me there are only two genres of English music. The music I like and the one the one which I don’t. So this talented guy was playing the former.

I stuffed my plate with all the varieties of food that was there and returned to the table. While returning I got to check out another female in deep necked black dress flaunting her not-so-nice cleavage to all the men in the room. In my early teenage days I had this weird perception that all females would have perfect cleavages. May be I had developed this prejudice after seeing some Hollywood actresses. As I grew up, the facts and ‘FIGURES’ ‘BUST’ed this myth. Hemanth and Sri followed me to the table with full plates. I think Rakhi was still surveying the variety of food there. I occupied my seat. Hemanth insisted on swapping his seat with Sri’s. Sri sat next to me. May be Hemanth was interested in sitting next to Rakhi or may be he was uncomfortable sitting next to a guy u see. That’s quite normal. Rather those kinda abnormal instincts are not yet considered normal in India. Rakhi came and sat in her place. One pokari kid of my diagonally opposite table looked least interested in food and was running around the table. He was whirling a woolen hood (kinda) in one hand. Once it slipped out of his hand and hit Hemanth’s back. Thank God it did not fall in any of our plates. Sri felt amused but Im sure Hemanth must have felt like folding that kid in his woolen hood and throwing him away. Hemanth hates all kids. I too hate kids when they act unruly. All kids act unruly all the time.

delicious desserts
Sri started taking all our snaps. Sri took the snap while Rakhi had spoon in her mouth, took snap while Hemanth was cleaning his lips with the napkin. Forget how she took my photo. I look bad in all the poses. So it did not really matter for me. We started the final round of course, the delicious desserts. I again made sure each variety of desserts has occupied a fair share on my plate. After getting it to the table, I glanced all the other plates to check if I have missed out any thing. Sri said, “basundi is yummy”. Shaks.. I missed out taking basundi. Sri told me to taste it from her porcelain bowl. I tasted and said I will take a full bowl in the next round of desserts. Sri exclaimed, “you wanna go for another round…?!?! there is still space in your stomach..?” I said, “my digestive organs stretch or shrink depending on the price of the buffet” All grinned hearing my comment.

We decided to leave the table only after I finished my second round of desserts. I bore an expression of killing 100 enemy soldiers in the battlefield. Sri paid the bill. All 4 us walked out of the hotel. My eyes were still hunting for the babes around. Bingo!! There I saw 3 RED HOTT babes waiting in the lounge. They bore Arab/Iranian looks. All were blondes. One of them had her eye brow pierced. Sri and Rakhi insisted on using the stairs to go down. I had no problems with walking but missed the sight of those 3 HOTT babes.

I said aloud what I was thinking, “those must be some exotic dancers”. Others nodded in agreement. I continued, “I believe they will be paid only 3 to 4k per performance”. I could see disagreement on Rakhi’s face. She was about to give the right compensation details of exotic dancers, but Hemanth quipped, “Oohhh 3 to 4k per PERFORMANCE is it..?” and winked @ me. He stressed the word performance. I giggled and said, “I was talking about dance..” and laughed. Sri caught the ‘mean-ing’ of ‘performance’ this time. She said, “thooo u guys are always like this”, looking at Hemanth n me as some lower forms of life.

We came to the entrance of the Mall. Hemanth and Rakhi went to the parking lot in the basement for getting their respective vehicles. By that time, the same 3 babes appeared in the coffee shop. They did not seem interested in spending lot of time there. Two of them came out of the coffee shop. The third one was buying some frappe (kinda) inside the shop. All the three were wearing short white tops and skin tight jeans. The waist line of the jeans and the short white tops seemed like lovers who have fought for some silly reason; both just did not wanna meet each other. Leaving me no option but to stare at the fair skin exposed to the cold air of the night. Sri noticed me letching, she said “Ananth.. Stop it.. ur acting too cheap today”, she was slightly angry. I smiled sheepishly. By then Rakhi and Hemanth drove their two wheelers to the place where we were standing. Rakhi looked like a fat Eskimo in her heavy jacket, Sri wrapped herself in stole and sat behind Rakhi. I again became pillion for Hemanth. We all thanked Sri for the nice treat. Rakhi n Sri disappeared in the traffic, I asked Hemanth to drop me till the door as it was already close to 11 in the night.

Comments (9)

Nice description of a normal dinner event!

The implicit humour in many places is really good - Rather those kinda abnormal instincts are not yet considered normal in India -:) lol

I liked the article.

I don't know how many will appreciate it. I don't mind reading anything, but still somethings are considered GREY in India.

One of the weirdest thoughts: India is supposed to be all the goody goody ones but still the AIDS patient number is high here.

[to Shashi and Saravanan]:
Thx for liking it 'this' way.

It was just a deliberate attempt to bring in sorta sleaziness in my writeup.

I enjoyed writing it too.. ;)

Maga, u have kindled the J in me! And by J, I meant Jealous nature!!!!

You have gone for a treat without me??? And I envy you for having the opportunity to:

1. Sit next to a gal courtesy the dumb Hemanth
2. Oogle @ chicks, esp. the sexy iranian / turkish babes
3. Spend time till 11PM in and around Brigade Road

But dude, I guess you should not have "attempted" sleaze.. you should have just let your thoughts flow without the attempt happening and without worrying if it would be a good write up or not! That is my opinion.

[to Suksy]:

he he.. i know those factors that make you jealous ;)

And about 'attempting' to bring in some sleaze in this write up... frankly speaking, I did not try hard to write it this way. I would rather say I had censored many of my previous posts to make it look 'decent' :)

BTW, For me, this was the most satisfying post of mine in recent times... i donno why.. i felt so

cutely written! And I think I understand your last comment about this one being a natural , and others being "sanitised" !

[to tess]:

cutely written!!!??
Thanks :)

yeno lei ....eshtondh kuydhidhya.....i cudn;t read it remimded me of the usual cab days when i was there

[to Warriorwithin aka Somberi Puneet :)]:

hoon maga full piTeel haakideeni.

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